From open heart surgery at 1 week of age, to a stroke, to late development, and now preschool and riding a scooter. I'd like to think it is because of his strong, obstinate spirit that just won't quit! I know some of it has to do with his Mom, Kellye - who makes sure he gets the care he needs. And a powerhouse Mom at that. She is one of my heroes....and he is too. He gets frustrated, he gets mad, he cries and screams, and YET - he doesn't say, "Hey I'm not getting out of bed today." That's not his option. He has to make the best of it - even if Spongebob wears on the rest of us. He is so resilient. We could all learn a few lessons from him.======================================
I have been thinking about charity and judging quite a bit. Driving to Walmart, I saw a man on the corner that held a sign that read, "Will work for food." I didn't look at him. I don't have any money to donate - and it looked like he was better dressed than I was - if footwear were a sign. A woman from church said she drove to Subway and bought him a footlong sub, chips and drink. He thanked her and was pretty gruff. Then she went round Hansen Motors and pulled to the side of Walmart to see what he would do. He went up near the front and put all the food in the trash!
So how hungry was he? And what kind of judgments do we make from this? There are people in our ward on church welfare. We've been there several times ourselves, when things were tough. It's embarrassing to not be able to care for your family. And yet by giving service in my callings, I feel justified in asking the Bishop for help if we need it. Even though -- we've had some really terrible experiences. One Bishop told Randy he was a disgrace to his Priesthood if he couldn't provide and even more so if I had to go to work. (That judgment again!) So - how much aid do we give? Do we give meals to a family every week because they need help - when they would rather eat out anyway....or should they be making every effort to do it themselves? Can we even fit that in a box? Do we give aid to someone who has Direct TV when the costs mount up and it's not really a necessity? Are piano lessons a necessity? Is it our job to weigh who we will help and why?
I'm glad the Bishop has the judgment part of this. I find I'm resentful if the help is squandered. We knew a young family that lived in Perry a few years ago who were really struggling. We anonymously left some money in their front door. Imagine our surprise to see them all having dinner at KFC when we went to wash our car. I was sure that their water was going to be turned off for lack of payment, or maybe it was the phone. Judgment again. But I wondered - did they need the respite more than the water? Weird yes?
One wants to help. I want to help. I want to be someone who notices and makes a difference, but the personal involvement is scary and leaves me open to feelings of resentment. That is why I pay fast offerings and let someone else do it.
Somewhere there is a balance between being a Good Samaritan and not letting the world run me over. I just haven't found it yet. Angels in disguise---in someways we are all one of those---but-----when should I unfold my wings?
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