August 6

It is amazing what several hours of sleep will do for perspective, disposition, and outlook on life. I feel like a new woman. Oh wait, that was after I got out of the shower!
But I did sleep well YAY.

Graydon is doing well today. His pain is manageable and he is laying around playing video games with Ryan. It is nice of Ryan to come and slack with him and keep him company. I do not know how to play Call of Duty=O)

I know tomorrow is the Sabbath and I have a ton to do - but I went back to bed and slept a few more hours. I think I'll be able to teach tomorrow and be pleasant!

I have been thinking a lot of about CS Lewis (again) and what he says about selfishness and pride. He was so intellectually awesome (in the truest sense of awesome) and also so kind-hearted. I want to be unselfish and less prideful. And yet - the human part of me wants what I want. A connundrum. He says that to be truly unselfish we must give up our selves to be what God wants us and then if we do, what we get will be better than what we had originally planned. So---why am I a chicken? Why would I settle for less? FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN.