Bella funny 01-26-16

Funny story....I asked Bella to get in the car. She, being her age....proceeded to run around the car in circles, just evading my grasp....alas, poor girlie, she hit a patch of black ice and slid across the drive on her bum. It was spectacular. She opened her mouth to cry...but I was laughing so hard....she finally decided to laugh too. It was hilarious. I picked her up and put her in the car seat....she said, "My bum huwts." I just laughed some more. 
This grandma had no compassion. =O)

Tuesday, January 26, 2016--finding faith.....again....

I have had a change in attitude and am rescinding my request. I have decided to make the Perry 8th Ward my home team and do everything I can to make my team better. I will sign up for everything and volunteer to teach, play or wherever I can find a place to help. Many are called, but few are chosen. Some of us don't get called, but we can CHOOSE to be there when needed.

Off to work now.

01/18/16 Ward challenges

• 
  

  How many weeks since our big upheaval?

  
  

  Letter I sent:
• 

  18/01/2016 10:04
  

  Bishop and Brother Case,
  

  As I have been informed by Bro. Case and have also found for myself---- that there is no place for me in this ward -- you seem to have plenty of everyone I would like to have Bella Gonzalez's records and also mine moved to the 5th Ward. Bella will enjoy Sunbeams with children she knows and teachers she already loves. I will actually feel wanted and that I belong somewhere and maybe even find a seat in Sunday School.

  
  

  I appreciate the fact that you are both young, and the new ward is a challenge. Unfortunately for me, I cannot accept these changes. So far it has been frustrating and unbelievable difficult.

  
  

  Sincerely, Dawn Bradbury
• 18/01/2016 10:11

  So...Went with Randy when they called him to be Scoutmaster. I was asked what callings have I served in. Bro. Case' offhand remark..."well we have PLENTY of everything, so you won't find a place there." plus the Dictatorship of Primary Presidency run by Michele Bowden....plus no room in SS, terrible teachers in RS, etc. etc. etc. to be friendly. Four women in my ward my age...have their own group. None of this would bother me on its own, but these---------and the fact that Bella's Primary teachers are not coming and she has had subs every week for whatever reason, she does NOT want to go and cries for Matt and Lisa. I just cannot cope with all these problems on the Sabbath Day when supposedly I am going to take the Sacrament, renew covenants, and hopefully find a little peace for the coming week. Yes, I am a major whinger. Frustrated and angry a little too. I loved that Michelle Bowden spoke for 45 MINUTES in Sacrament Meeting and left the high councilman just 4 minutes to finish. That does make me cranky as it seems to inconsiderate. I know people are not perfect....sigh....I know I am not perfect....sign....but all of these things combined make me so unhappy at Church.
  
• 18/01/2016 10:11
  

  Whew. Thanks for letting me vent. I am looking forward to change. I guess if they don't move my records, I will lose my Temple Recommend and then I won't be able to play at the Temple on Fridays. Life sucks some days.
  
• 18/01/2016 10:18
  

  PS. I was so discouraged I unfriended everyone on FB.
  

  
  

  The Bishop asked me to meet with him on Thursday evening. I sent the message to Randy and said if Randy wants to go he can. There is no dialogue that can fix this. Also, I don't want to play the "ATK lets have a meeting to fix this." And I don't want to renig. So, no meeting either by email or in person. Dawn Bradbury

  
  

  I'm a bugger.
• 18/01/2016 11:18
  

  Really, If I could just calm down I would not be mean regarding chorister, piano, or Primary. Probably everyone is just flying by the seat of their skirts and just getting by. To be fair, it is a new ward. So, I just need to chill..... a lot......
  

  I still want to change wards.
  
• 18/01/2016 11:40
  

  Dawn Bradbury
  

  
  
• 

  18/01/2016 11:42
  

  
  
  

  
  

  
  

  Maybe I will need total frostbite.
• 18/01/2016 14:21
  
• nday
• 
  

  18/01/2016 18:37
  

  Dawn Bradbury     Bishop Ellis: Bp Ashcroft sent Randy a request for a meeting. I have requested move to Perry 9th ward. I have heard from various sources that Perry 5th Ward piano and organ are awful, not sure I could take that right now. See, I told you I was having a King Noah time of things.
• 

  18/01/2016 23:10
  

  Roger Ellis
  

  Dear King Noah, I love you and miss you guys. You are hilarious. I'm sorry this change has been so difficult for you. We would take you back in a second. Just remember that I would have never dreamed that you and I would become special friends. Sometimes first impressions are not very accurate. Don't be afraid to give others a second look, you might find connections you never thought would exist. You are a talented, wonderful woman of faith. I hope many others who don't know yet, might have the opportunity to see how cool you you are.
  
• 5:

  Bishop: Thank you for your kind words. I will ponder what to do. You give me some hope.
• 15:06
  

  I'm pretty sure Brother Case didn't mean his comment to come out the way he did. I'm trying to find some good in all of this...goodness. I guess I need more "frost" ing.
• Had a talk with Beloved. If one takes out all the emotion from the struggle...there are four issues here.
  

  The struggle to make friends. (Usually not an issue for me.) No calling. Church at 8 a.m. And I haven't been sleeping well. Today is a migraine day as well. So.....
•  upshot, Randy will meet with Bp. Ashcroft and list the four main problems, I and all the emotion will stay home with bated breath hoping that the Lord will intervene on my behalf.
• 21:21
  

  PSS. Thanks for listening to me. I apologize for being a basket case. Dang this headache anyway.
  

  Also, It is very hard for Sunbeams to sit through sharing time when the words are posted and they don't sing anything they know. I have been teaching Bella all the Presentation for 2016 songs. She got a CD for Christmas. Also, she know I Am A Child of God, Book of Mormon Stories, and Jesus Wants Me for a Sunbeam. We are making progress. The teacher in singing time just does her own thing but mostly for the older kids. She doesn't seem to have much enthusiasm. I had a terrible urge to jump up and do it myself. Fortunately, I desisted! =O)

Bella's Zebwa

Three days before Christmas Aunt Lisa and Uncle Matt came to visit (with Kaylee, Bradley, and Kade).  They so thoughtfully brought Bella a little (toy stuffed) zebwa as she is REALLY into zebras right now.  She was totally delighted and sleeps with it.  I forget what she named it...I think Lala.   I will have to ask her and then do an edit.  Santa brought her a Kindle Fire which she loves, and also a mini trampoline to get her energy out on really cold days.  She is a busy girlie.  Day care begins January 4, and this grandma needs a break =O).  I will add a photo to this post....

Phillip came up to visit as well.  We haven't seen them since summer.  Angie wasn't feeling well so PJ got Ira out of the house for awhile.



We also went to Hardware Ranch.  BRRRRRR.  It was great to see the elk, but boy was it just freezing.

January 2016 A New Year

I feel so blessed. My first poem of the new year came last night. Have not written for awhile. I need solitude and time to reflect, which is difficult with a 3-year-old. The stress over the last month has been incredible. I have Celexa which I take every day, but the added pressures of company and extra kids have about done me in, not to mention congregation change. We were in the Perry 9th Ward. (A ward is a church congregation of about 500 people or so.) We are now in the 8th ward -- and it is a difficult change for me, as most of my friends moved to the 5th ward or the new 10th ward. When Randy and I first moved to Perry there were 2 wards. Now there are 10. It seems crazy. Anyway, I am substituting in Primary tomorrow. (Think of Jr. Sunday School!) This for 3 year olds. The lesson is "I Am A Child of God," which is lovely. Just occupying that age group is exhausting. Fortunately there are only 4 kids coming, hopefully. I have been going to Primary for 3 weeks trying to help Bella adjust to all the changes. We had one day where she had a royal meltdown and I had to take her home until she got a grip. After she calmed down she decided to go back and try and again, bless her. I thought that was mighty brave.
Also, when I met with our Brother Case ...I was informed that all the music and teaching positions were filled..and so I wasn't needed in those.....and so far there has been no place for me to fit in. There are four or five ladies my age, but they don't seem to make room. Last week, a Kali Winward (I played keyboards for her wedding...a little George Strait!) saved me a seat and asked me to sit with her. I was so grateful. Life is hard some days. My hens are laying now and so far I am getting 5-6 eggs a day. Pretty good when you think of the temperature stressor. Eventually all 16 will be laying and i will have eggs to sell.

Kellye was here with the grandkids from Arizona for three days....Dec 27 through 30. It is always so hard. The twins will be 12 on Jan 20. Kayla is the bossy one. She is always in your face busy and wants a project to do. Ayden is the quiet one, who just sits back and lets life pass him by. Kayla is very active in everything in school, she is on student council etc. She also plays horn in jazz band. She is quite good. Ayden plays Tuba and loves it. He is leery of marching band because he is of slight build and has terrible anxiety. He is on ADD medicine and also an antianxiety med. I have been teaching him piano for 4 years via Skype once a week. He has the ability, but not the discipline. I really began piano at 27. I have no talent (what everyone tells me) except that I am a great accompanist, teacher, and sight reader. But mostly, I just practice a lot.

Marley has conjunctivitis again, but now it is in her other eye. Thank goodness I still have some medicine left over.

I think I've got the lesson ready for tomorrow. Church from 8-11 a.m.. 8 to 9 is Sacrament Meeting. 9-10 is sharing time for all Primary ages. then 10-11 is class time. We now have four wards meeting in one building, so we are a bit squished. Next ward is at 9, and then 11, and then 1. Randy was just made Scoutmaster. He has two scouts. He is working on developing a plan for teaching leadership skills. He has been a Scoutmaster for 30 years.
Well, thank you for reading and letting me vent. The Morphine is starting to work and my pain level has dropped back to manageable. Thank goodness. If this poem works out I will share. I need to get writing. I have so many goals and so many improvements I want to make in my own life, it feels like time is rushing by and I will never be anything. For Christmas I bought a pendant with a quote from my favorite poet, Sylvia Plath...."I can never read all the books I hope to read. I can never be all the people I hope to be. I can never live all the lives I hope to live." I only have a few goals: To be a good musician, to write!, and to love my children and grandchildren. When I started my list I wasn't friends with Katie, so now I will add, and to be a good sister to someone who deserves a good sister.

I have a waiting list for students. Imagine that! I am 1.5 years shy of my teaching degree...(did not finish my jury senior recital) and I am not that great of a pianist. I don't do recitals for my students anymore because I can't afford to rent the hall. Besides, most parents don't really come to hear the other kids, just their own, and it is tedious to sit for an hour and listen to everyone. But I am a stickler for music theory and the groundwork. Then...I really try to help them find a better teacher to improve their playing. So far, so good. Just 9 students. I can do it right? Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming...What do we do? we SWIM!!!!!

Whew. Well here it is 1 a.m. I need to stop fretting and get to bed. Need to fix snacks and also find my Gospel Art Book to take to class. I know it is SOMEWHERE.

12-15-15 Ten Days Until Christmas? YIKES!!!!

• Preparing for the big day:

• 
  

  I am keeping the mail and UPS in business and I hate to shop and would rather do it online. I just discovered that Beloved lost his wool mittens. So I need to add that to my Smith nEdward run. Pooky. I HATE that store. (except for the boot and saddle section!) I just watched the trailer for Fantastic Beasts and where to Find Them with Eddie Redmayne who I think is a brilliant actor, not quite like Ben Cumberbatch, but definite quality there.
• 2:03
  

  Church on Sunday was so difficult. #1. Lots of perfume. #2. Painful music. #2. Callings for SS, RS, and Music all given out. Pooky. Think there is a spot for me? I did get VT assignments. Three sisters. I am making homemade ornaments with a music theme for them. No treats. AURGH. If I bake, I eat. Also Pooky. I have offended (I am pretty sure) most of the people in the 5th ward or 7th that are now in the 8th ward. The women my age don't seem to want to make room for me. I miss my young mom's terribly. On Sunday Landon Lloyd grabbed me in the hall for a great big hug. Also Jordan Neslen saw I was sad and he gave me a big hug too. I don't hate the people but I hate the ward change. Goodness. The Messiah sing-in was so splendid. I was sorry to miss P-9 Party, but Gwen Sperry and I have a standing date. It was glorious, and always is. Well, that is my whinge. I have a sick munchkin today, with a cough and sinus congestion. She is playing her tablet. Did you know you can check out these tablets (there are 5 for her age group) for three weeks from the library? They are wonderful. We bought a Kindle Fire for Bella and It comes in a childproof case and is guaranteed for two years. I still need to load it before next week. Beloved is going without for Christmas this year. I wish he would let ME go without. He watches my reading lists and my "need to read" list and new books find their way to my shelves. I am so grateful he loves me, but honestly? That piano could last me the rest of my life and I would be content. He loves the surprising though.
  
• Kellye and kids coming the 27th of December.  We are SO looking forward to seeing them.
• Winter is finally here!  BRRRRRR.
  

  

December 8

Well, Randy, Bella and I met with Ben Ashcroft who is our new Bishop for Tithing Settlement.  He is even more freaked out than I am about the ward changes.  He just finished tithing settlement in the other ward and now has to do it again.  He kept saying how worried he was about the Youth and just seemed totally frazzled.  Poor man.  I told Randy afterward that I met someone just as overwhelmed as I felt (honestly, I came away thinking my overwhelmed probably doesn't register on his scale.)  I found out that he worked at ATK and knew Clay, Tom Donehue, Corey, Don Isaccson, Wendy Boyer and other friends.  That was weird.  I was reminded of how small a community we really live in.

We did not have prayer afterward.  I always LOVED when Bishop Roger Low and Bishop Roger Ellis would have prayer for our family afterward.  It gave me such hope for the coming year.

Randy helped me get the lights on the tree fixed up.  Ready to put on ornaments now.  Bella kept saying, I LOVE my Chwistmas Twee.  She has her Ls down, just not her Rs yet.  I took her to see Walker's Christmas movie, "The Minions."  She sat on Santa's lap and got a candy cane.