This morning I read a really great post on Segullah about giving offense, being offended and/or hurting someone else by our actions or thoughts. It has fit is well with all I have been reading about Jack Lewis, my hero. It seems that I often do give offense or hurt without meaning too. Sometimes I am just thinking about something else and my mouth runs away without my brain attached. And of course, I am guilty of taking offense. One blogger commented on Segullah that for him, it is offense when his pride takes a hit---otherwise it would be a hurt. Are hurts much easier to forgive than pride? I think so. Something else to muse over.
I finished "Jack's Life" by Douglas Gresham (C.S. Lewis' step-son). Of course, no matter how much you think you know about Jack or how he thinks--- he continues to amaze and teach. I either didn't know or had forgotten that he had a photographic memory. I think that would be so handy for scriptures and Ensigns. What a marvelous gift and of course, it explains so much about him. His wife, Joy also had the same gift -- no wonder they became friends quickly and fell in love. It would take a very brainy woman to even get Jack's attention--- she was a poet AND a writer as well. Wow.
I have met a few shallow people recently--people in my ward. It astonishes me sometimes. I see so much to be interested in and things to learn all the time. Life is really good and although I have my trials (a few) there is so much to do!!! So I cannot understand people whose lives are wrapped up in their looks, their vacations, their social expectations--when there is so very much more to accomplish and we have a purpose here. It is not a total vacation. I wonder when times get hard if they will have enough oil in their lamps to make it. YIKES.
Things I worry about:
Money. I know it is the root of all evil (at least excess and maybe not enough too!) But I do worry when there isn't enough to make the house payment. I studied like crazy yesterday. I have to finish and get a job. It is a great frustration that Randy never seems to get ahead, never seems to make enough and $2,000 a month is just not enough. I don't want to go to the Bahamas (well, maybe) but I would like to save and get ahead. AURGH. This is a huge problem for me. Because really, Randy is so good to me in every way - but that one thing. DOUBLE AURGH.
You may have noticed that I removed all the posts regarding Julie. Julie felt like my writing about my worries for her gave her license to write some very sad and nasty things about me. It made me cry. But -- in order to hopefully make amends, I won't post anything about her here. I know she KNOWS what is RIGHT and TRUE. The rest is up to her.
Graydon is speaking today in the Perry 4th Ward at 10:45, I need to eat, shower and be ready. Also, today first day of my Family History class. I think. (I've changed the dates so many times...I'm not really sure...but I think so)....so I am prepared to go have a first lesson and if no one comes, I'll do it next week. I can't stress about it right now.
Marley's allergies are just terrible. We thought it was the sage or something. We've since found out it was her food...wheat and corn. So she is on heavy Benadryl and is miserable. She has scratched off all the hair above her eyebrows. Poor girl. Lamar says it will take about 3-4 weeks to get rid of it all. We did get her some Lamb and Rice food. But she doesn't like it.
I had a great idea for a poem yesterday but have not had time to get it down. It is about the dichotomy of people's public and private faces. Like those who are 'perfect' at church and fishwives at home. I have been thinking about this because C.S. Lewis wrote a sermon about joining our public and private selves so that they are one following the example of Christ. I need to work on this....and this idea came because I know I've done it.
There is more to come. I'll try and get back to it.
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