For my biological mother

Carol, who was in reality—Joan

raised in strict religious Mennonite doctrine

Threatened by God’s vengeance

            but never knew Him personally

Her sins were legendary

            her rendezvous numerous

Each succeeded by drinking binges

as if to expiate the shame

No one really knew if she had remorse

we were all so busy cataloging her faults

At her funeral—disgruntled family members

            still in agony from her many betrayals

Puzzled over unanswered whys

expressed bitterness and hopes of her imminent roasting

It took forty years of grieving

Forgiveness seemed impossible

Relinquishing the guilt, the rage, the loss

Unchained myself—became lighter than air

I let go

Gave her freedom to change

            She knew

9/2/08

DB