Strange and beautiful dream.

·       11/04/15

·       The short of it...I was walking on the moors in Cornwall (England) just walking. Miles. So filled with absolute stillness, silence and peace. No thoughts of not good enough, or am I forgetting anything, or am I loving Randy enough, am I doing my calling well enough, what am I failing at that I need to improve.....there was just peace. It was so beautiful. The heather was in bloom and I could smell it. I stayed there in that small village for years. I wrote a book or two. Lots of poetry. I wasn't happy exactly...just at total peace with myself and the universe. I awoke to Bella calling for me, and bringing me back to ack! the every day WORLD and its stresses. I didn't miss my family in the dream, or my friends, or my piano. I just walked and was calm. I want some of that every day...or permanently. I met a painter in my dream and watched him work. His name I think was Emile. There was great friendship and love there....but not crazy I need you love....just deep love like I had known him forever. I would share this with Randy, but I don't want to give him ouchies.

....I want that. I felt like this morning I would get on a plane and leave it all behind just to have it ---if even only for 1 hour.

Later I received a text from my sister Katie Hatfield who said that Mom was in the hospital.

Maybe I had that dream for peace so I have the strength to get through these next crises. My adopted Mom, fell and fractured her kneecap and messed up her face. She has had several ministrokes and will have to go into an assisted living center....she is in her mid-70s. My sister Katie who came to visit is dealing with everything all by herself. I may have to go and help clean out the house and prepare it for sale and also help with Mom. Not that I want to go. I have no feelings for her. But I would go because I love Katie and wouldn't want her to bear this all alone.