April 21, 2012

11:39 p.m.
I had a huge nap after Varsal Jenks funeral.  Not sure WHY I am so tired, or WAS so tired.  But here I am awake.  Randy went to the store for me.  Such a sweet man.  I aired out our bed, and washed the spring (lighter) quilt and shams and put them on.  The bed looks so inviting, yet here I am.

I have survived six weeks at work.  I got a note saying I would get fired if I kept making the same mistake over and over.  I made huge stickies and put them all over the computer...so I finally had a day where I got rid of that particular error.  When the patient lists come in...if x-rays are taken, I have to make a separate x-ray report, even if the physician doesn't dictate one.  So for about 4 days a bunch a reports went in without x-rays attached.  I'm not sure what my hangup is about that...but it is getting better.  This week..I did over 1580 lines.  Pretty good.  Friday I just did 197 lines pooky.  But the reports were all difficult and so I learned a LOT of new terms.  I'm not sure why I felt that if I passed the Career Step test I would be able to do this job.  Goodness.  It is a challenge.  At least I haven't needed a "mental health day" yet.

Jonathon Frid was in his 80s and passed away this week with Dick Clark.  I felt sort of nostalgic and sad....but not as sad as when David died.  That was a shock.  But Mr. Frid was a classically trained actor and he could look menacing with one eyebrow.  He really was a gentleman.  I watched all 4 seasons of Dark Shadows on Netflix.  I remember watching it everyday after school right before Star Trek.  It was a campy soap opera.  But Angelique certainly gave me nightmares....especially seeing her hand crawl across the floor!  Not like "Thing" from the Addams Family...I knew he'd be helpful =O).  My home life being what it was....I dreamnt of cultivating Barnabas Collins as a friend if he would just bump off my dad for me.  (I still love vampires!)  Or maybe Captain Kirk could have Scotty beam him off into a rock somewhere.

My favorite show in 4th grade was the Monkees.  Of course, Peter was my favorite.  He was the "dumb" one.  And since I was the "dumb" one...I could relate.  Remember I was only about 10; right around the time the adoption came through.  I just knew if Peter knew everything that happened he would rescue me!  Little did I know that I would meet him in the SL airport in 1979 and that he would become my friend.  He called every week to see if I needed anything.  What a very nice man.  He was disgusted when I joined the church, but eventually forgave me.  He and Randy get along well.  He is so intelligent it is scary.  I was watching the screen tests on YouTube.  He went in with his guitar, but never got a chance to play or sing.  He says, "I should have known what was up."  At least he isn't bitter.  All that Zen stuff...he is fairly laid back and positive about life.

On another note....I got a letter from Julie this week.  She says she is doing well.

Tanner Michaelis came and mowed the yard....bless that guy!  He doesn't seem to mind getting dirty, hauling branches (sticky rose bushes) and being out in the heat.  I had ice water and a bag of M&Ms for him when he finished.  Oh, and Randy paid him.

On yet another note...my pieces are coming along.  Clare de Lune and Beethoven Sonata in D major for 4 hands.  I hope my teacher gets back from her trip so I can review.  Now if I could get Mendelssohn in line.  It's a ripping piece,  my old fingers can hardly keep up!  Peter says, just keep at it.  Every day.  Of course, he is right, because if I stop --- I'll probably forget everything I've learned so late =O)

I found a simplified version of the Star Wars Theme and sent it to Ayden.  I hope his Mom still loves me after she has heard it 60,000 times.  I may rewrite the Darth Vader's Theme...it's spooky sounding and I think he would like that as well.  I don't know that I would teach another student via webcam.  It is difficult to work on hand position and all the other things.  Ayden wants it so bad and he has a good ear...and maybe any teaching he gets is better than none.  Sometimes though, I feel like I can't give him my best because of the distance.

Randy cut lilacs today and brought in a bouquet for the table.  They smell divine.  I love the Springtime.

On Friday night Randy and I went to the Fine Arts Center to hear "Dry Lake Band" from Cache Valley.  Gosh, they were amazing.  The banjo player sang a song he wrote called, "Why doesn't the banjo player ever get the girl?" It was so hilarious.  The lead singer, Liz Wooley who is also the major songwriter and mandolinist was incredible.  She sang a bluegrass version of Summertime (by Gershwin)  She has a lonesome sounding voice and it gave me chills.  The whole show was a treat.  The tickets were only $8.00.  It was a BARGAIN.  I came out of there....thinking about how much I long for music like that.....I swear I just wanted to cut my wrists right then.  But I squashed it.  I can only do what I can do.  I thought it would motivate me to take my mandolin out and try...but not bloody likely (as David Jones would say!)

I rarely even listen to my cd's anymore.  I have hundreds of dollars in bluegrass music, which I love, but it is too painful to listen and realize that I don't have a gift, and will never be able to make it mine.  Whine, whine.  I look (on screen here) so pathetic. ERG.

Tomorrow is the Sabbath.  I have been grateful for the break!  That sounds wicked.  But sometimes I am just tired, and I don't want to be nice.  (So obviously, I DON'T have the spirit either) so I want to stay home and hide out.

Tonight we realized I forgot to put milk on the grocery list.  Randy and I went to Wally's World to get some milk.  While there we saw Steve Neville and Savannah.  I got a great hug from Savannah and she told me about her soccer game.  There is something about that sweet girl that does something to me.  I feel lucky that she likes me.  Same with Annie Neslen.  So we came home and I feel a little better.  Wondering if I need to increase my depression meds or if this will pass.  Good thing summer is coming and I can have a break from choir.  Some days I can barely stand to go, even though when I get there I LOVE--LOVE---LOVE accompanying....and especially playing the hymns.

So when I couldn't sleep I got up and practiced and just played hymns for awhile.  Thinking how calming they are...how each one reminds of when I learned it, and what lessons I've learned from it.  For a long time...I didn't know the words, because I always play...but being able to have cds from the TAB Choir  has helped me learn the words and they have become more meaningful for me.

Graydon's friends are getting serious about young ladies.  I am so grateful he isn't yet.  I hope he doesn't feel pressured to hurry up and get to the Temple.  I mean, I love for him to go to the Temple, but he doesn't seem ready to settle down with one person yet.   And I love having him home.  He has a doctors appointment with the Endocrinologist regarding his diabetes this week.  I am so grateful for that too.  Maybe we can get answers and ideas that will be helpful.

Not much other news....Nola's great grandkids came to my little farm to hold a bunny "Miss Kitty" and feed Pebbles crackers and gather eggs.  They love to come.  It is a far cry from my grandparents 150 acres where I would go out and roam all day, but My little house on the Perry, is a splendid place.  I am so lucky.

For Easter I found a superb recording of "The Hobbit" on sale on 10 cd's, unabridged! for Randy.  He is enjoying it so much.  The reader does all the voices, and sings the songs....I finally got my little worn paperback and am zooming in it to catch up the barrels full of dwarves headed for Lake Town.

I see that the musical version of Les Miserables is coming out this summer.  Hugh Jackman is going to be Val Jean.  Russell Crow is going to play Javert.  Ann Hathaway (?) cut her hair and is going to play Fantine.  I don't think anyone can sing Fantine like Ruthie Henshall.  The photographs look amazing though.  It may be a "Need" if it's any good!

I think that is all my news for a bit.  We got some money back from taxes.  We are finally going to replace the last single paned window upstairs for a double pane (Hallelujah!) thermal window.   Also my washing machine is going out and I have a little extra for that. Darn it....it always seems there is only a few dollars and 5000 places for it all to go.  I guess I will just keep paying my titihing and living on faith!