EUREKA!

During Sacrament Meeting today, I had an AHA/EUREKA Moment.  I have shared some of this with my dear music friend Jeri Benson, who I so admire.

I get turned upside down and into a depressed cycle when
THE BIG AND SPACIOUS BUILDING ends up in my living room or at the store, or at a friends.

I forget who I am.  I forget I am a spiritual being having a HUMAN experience.

And it seems like Lehi's vision of the Large and Spacious Building has become more real to me.  Just what is so great about it?  The fame, the wealth, the notoriety?  Because that is not why I play music. 

With all the reality shows, talent shows, constant barrage of talented individuals in the news, on YouTube, even in the ENSIGN, it is easy to feel like we are just not good enough.  I remember President Hinckley saying "Sisters, your best is good enough."

I forget that I make music because I LOVE it.  It changes me.  It makes me a better person.  

The windows of that spacious building are looking out so everyone can say, "Look at me!!!!"  NOW, see me?  I'm Kim Kardashian, I am Carrie Underwood, I am somebody, anybody.  But in the Temple on Friday, the light came through the window and reflected off the mirrors, more light.  Not at any ONE, just light.  I think angels were there, showing me what to really see.  

This turned my thinking around!  I remember now WHO I am, I can go play, dance crazy to Toby Keith -- maybe not hit a live performance yet....I have some more growing and changing, and accepting to do.  I don't really want to be a member of the world club. Do you?

Aren't we supposed to be a peculiar people?  Maybe we can make room for each other.  Maybe we can LOOK at someone else and let them in our circle.  Play the musicians that we were born to be.  

This is one reason I love Mike Kinney.  He makes room for me.  As a musician, as a friend.  He gives good hugs.  He understands what I want and what it takes to succeed, and success in the long view will not be in the Large and Spacious Building.  Who wants to inhabit that space anyway?  

I'm going to change my prayers this week, be a little more grateful, a little more wise in using my time, and practice!  Because music CHANGES me, and makes me a better person.  

Thanks for reading.

PS I accepted a new calling today.  I am really jazzed....erm.....bluegrassed about it?!  Wait until you hear.  I will be fabulous =O)